Lovers"Do you have a boyfriend?"Her eyes crawled from corner to corner as she mouthed the question. Do I have a boyfriend? After what felt like an unnecessary contemplation she said "...I know a lover, but I don't have him.""What does that mean?""I don't know if he's mine. He doesn't go by Mine ... that is to say, many could call out Lover! and he would answer. I could call out Mine! and receive no reply.""So this guy, whose not your boyfriend, doesn't it bother you that he doesn't feel the same way about you as you feel about him?"Her head lobbed to one side, as if it were weighted, her eyes found another corner, higher this time, right above my head. She may have been smiling, I didn't think so at the time but now as I reflect upon it, I believe she was. "I've known many lovers" She said "Many of them are strangers now. Strange thing, to know someone intimately, the crevasses of their body, their dark thoughts, and then in a blink, they are
Concernedly UnfleetingShe woke up as the sun did. Slowly creeping out of bed, eyes still half shut, her figure a small silhouette, fumbling about the bedroom. And then suddenly, I swear, I merely blinked, and the whole room was glowing with her presence. Her warm smile reflected the warm cup she placed in my hands and we just sat smiling to one another, to our selves, witnessing the blues of the day come into focus.You see, the sun was on the verge of rising. Too cold outside for the stunning rays she was known for. Today would not be a day for warmth, as our little morning cocoon would have you believe. No, today was a day for clarity, at it's best.Everything sparkled. The snow covered cars, the ice covered trees, her dark brown eyes. It felt magical, yet at the same time, untouchable. Frighteningly magical. The world outside my window looked Disney inspired, friendly, unreal, and frozen. Literally and figuratively, a beautiful winter still. How in the world is this moment, this time and place, st
This is the Door I Left Open For YouYou knocked and knocked. When I called outfor you to come in, the knocking stopped.I peered out the window and you were gone.I hesitantly moved on.I got up and closed the door, realizing it wasa ding dong ditch. From time to timeyou still knock, but the door stayslocked.
BalloonBalloons were created to floaton a leash. To be releasedis relieving solely to thefreed.
Sleep ChildSleep child. The day is done.A sweeter song is being sungthan the morning's rooster call.Sleep child, this day is done.Rest easy. Time will stopbefore a new day has begun.Sleep child. Sleep quick,before dark steals your thoughts.The night creeps on bywhile you're wide eyed.
Learn to SwimThey lined up and dove in. Every one of them sunk like rocks.Their eyes were red when they came up. They cried, I think, it was a pool of tears.Choking. Breathing. Laughing.She laughed a knowing laugh."If you stay in the shallow end you'll never learn to swim."I don't live by the ocean and I don't enjoy the sea,so what does your wisdom have to do with me?I waited by the door but you already left, so I wadedin the water and took a deep breath. I unstrappedthe vest that protects my chest. I shut my eyes and pluggedmy nose and pretended I was a balloon. Gravity wasn't pretendingand reality pulled me under. Flailing to floatand failing, my heart deflated. I gulped downwater not fit for drinking. Soon the sinking stopped.My toes reached cool tileand I thought thatthis must behow it feelsto walk on the moon.Moments felt like minutes,pushing toward the surface,bouncing back to Earth.
DriverI spend my evenings predicting the future.I will lay awake, with my eyes closed in the dark,considering hypothetical scenarios of what it mightbe like if that happens. Predicting how it will beeven though it is never is what you'd think, unlessthat is what you make it. You create it. I are not a passive passenger riding in the flowany relationship. I am the driver. I figure outwhat I want, and make it happen with that person.I choose to laugh.
O.R.B. He opened the front door and it didn't creak the way he'd expected it to. The house didn't know his father was dead. It was still fresh smelling, alive with plants and natural light. The curtains in the living room blew around, excited by his arrival. Ted had to push against the wind to shut the door. The house was quiet, anticipating his next move. He had to remind himself to stay on task. Do not pout around, don't touch everything. Find the papers and do what they say. In and out. It had been years since Ted set foot inside his parent's house. He forgot how Home and Garden's everything looked. Rather than being in his childhood home, Ted imagined he'd stumbled onto a made for TV movie set. Any minute a man would yell CUT and the walls would come down. Ted waited, and nothing happened. Every room was picture perfect out of a magazine. All shades of green and brown. The dishes and table sett
Lovers SpinningI faced him with nervous anticipation as our arms intertwined. His large hands easily clasped around my wrists. I too, held on to him. We began to spin, slowly at first. Everyone around us flashed looks of agitation, but I knew it was envy. He smiled and took pride in the fact that I was playing along. His feet sped up so I tried to keep up. We both laughed as our world disappeared into a kaleidoscope of color. Our shoes dug holes into the ground. I didn't want to slip, because I knew he wouldn't let me go and we'd both go tumbling down.We'll either decelerate or fall into the grass together. That is how it will end. It will be soft and will not hurt. Afterwords, we will wipe joy tears from our eyes. So I hoped.As our speed increased, so did doubt. I was sure we were spiraling out of control. My mind flashed forward, anticipating the release. Any moment now his hands will escape mine. I will fly away from him. My vision will be hazy without his face to focus on. I will be lightheaded
My Personal PreferenceI don’t careFor pretty heartsI like the onesThat are scarredStitchedAnd taped togetherBecause those are the onesWho have been through HellAnd have the courageTo keep beating
asteroidi.she is an asteroid,collisions coilingthrough belted dressesthat skim past stomachand smoothe her flawsand soothe her faults.an axis awakening;bend like this, flex like that,aspiration reminding herwith angry rotationsthat she is still presentin her heavy astrosphere.ii.she is seeking absolution,absolut and freefallenshe flirts with the night-club lights like aurora floatingjust out of reachunder an ashen skyatlas stained with atlantic salt,there is no hall unmarkedand these nights segueinto self-imposedalcho-asthenia.iii.she strips her face acousticno make-up, no need to wake upan hour early for this adagioaddiction to adding,always adding more to her skinto hide the parts thatgasp and poison her visionlike asp assassins.be quick or be dead,she moves so slow.iv.she measures minutesby an aftershock timeline;stunned autumnal by brickscrushed to powder,always underfootshe's stuck between the faultsas they line straight through her world;iv pie
the things we cannot knowand darling, there are thingsi never told you; like howi blessed you while you were sleepingin the hour before the end -asked the universe to watch over youand conspire towards your happiness, towards you,covered you with be brave's andgoodness and mercy and light,fingers touching your spinelike a rosary---and my darling, time is a flat circleso you are still sitting at my kitchen table,still asleep with your head on my breast;we have already come together like waves,repeatedly, and dark against the sky;you have yet to walk through the july nightto kiss me on a crumbling riverbank;i have yet to know if i will see you again,and how and where, and when
Life Hides Lovethe whisper below your wordsis your soul telling methat you're starving itthat the end of infinitycan't come quickly enoughand i whisper back, my dear,that life hides love deeplyin the most painful of placesthat love finds its waythrough the mazenot by looking for lightor dark, but bybalancing and buildingboth into somethingtall and climbable, yetlow and comfortableso when curious eyes risepeer over the wallsand realize the labyrinthstretches into forever,there's something softbetween you and the groundto catch youwhen you let golove is bigger, sharpersofter than what any selvescan want or needit's our all-scentionthrough, above and below wallswithout ever leaving them, it'sour becoming a stationof peace along the way
TiredI'm so very tiredOf this daily routineAlways the same thingDay after dayLife is greyAs dull and boringAs it can getWhat happened to my dreams?What happened to my passion?Why can't I liveInstead of just surviving?
untitled (broken records don't have names)my fingers flutter sunrise butterflies,floating in the morningas it breaks through the gloomthat came post-gloaming.but i confess,i have no graspon what to do with daylightthese days.you were a drop of sunlightreflected in my cloudy-sky eyeseventually you became toogood for me, and i gave upmy waxed wings are still intact, butmy shoulders are too sore fromcarrying this deadweight with anobnoxious, obstinate heartbeatand how are you faring this golden afternoon?you will never answer and yetmy mind loops broken records,asking as if you could hear.light halos the plain beneath my feetbut i shy away from sunshine,an icarus-inherited fear of fallingor just ofletting go.because we were supposed tobe something beautiful, somethingworth falling for(or you were, at least, and there isno way to ask if you fell hard enough)but shattered cds still lie on the floorcollecting the sunlight that idon't know what to do withbecause i can't spend it on you, anymore.listl
Masked Pain Masked Pain Bright eyes, big smile. sobs silenced in haste Bursts of laughter ring out tears stifled within Grab my hand lets dance while my soul drowns in sorrowWe'll jump and touch the skymy heart sinking... sinking ... This is gonna be a blast! don't mind my shattered heart. Can't you see I'm all smiles when really I'm crying inside We're 10 feet tall! though I feel 9 feet under Isn't this the best day ever? the pain seemed to go on forever I hope you had as much fun as I had. I can barely contain the turmoil inside Goodbye my friend, let's have fun again. Hurry! Leave! before you see my pain. Alone... I'm alone now.... Good... Let the mask fall......pain... all there is... is pain...
Vesuviuslone silhouette in an arctic expanse,suffocating del(e)rium, suffering the sound ofdearth, of deaththe deep breath of Thursday (wood day, would dayever come)white is still white in the cradle of nighttea party for one, brush of lips on white chinaa nib kisses white sheets andfreezesnot to savour, but to cling to eternity frozen in timebreathe in. breathe out. move.notes eruptshooting up, fire shoots though arteries(sp)utter with ashen hands and chokethrough wood smokecharcoal lines the abysseight letters blindsided Pompeii.
default dawns1.windshields floodedin aqueous lumensin ruminating half-startswe press our cartographscloser to human formswarm of failed livesand unweathered stormsgod help usas we bravelymourn2.solidify a circle of wry smilesthat verify our circuits are worthwhilefinal breaths can't be taken backand your tact won't serve you wellwhen your strained tendonsimpact the seabedno weeping here, lovethe salt does not providea place for confided truthor wasted youthor broken sternumsonly a terminusfor acidic sermonson proof3.look at my expert failureand tepid futuremy tea leavesget crushedin my molar massand swishin absinthe leaksbruise, you aremy sweetest endeavorand i sweari will maintainyour violet smirkand the brilliant ashof your charred grass skirt4.at this point i feel likesurvivingbut that has not alwaysbeen the casei wished you had destroyed me,broken both my legsand scoffed at my searingthe glory of a hallelujahfrom the comfort of dirt5.face flec
InkI like to draw hearts on my wrist in ink.Let it wash away and draw them again.Not always in the same placesor the same amount.Sometimes my heart's in different places,but I always have one.